I am so done with being passive about my faith. It is beyond time for me to start being active in my faith. I’m not really sure what that entails, and I’m not entirely sure how to go about it, but I know that I want to. I am desperately craving to know my Lord more and more each day, and I want to pursue Him with all I have.
But wanting to do something never actually gets things done. I have to do something. But what?
The only thing I can think of at the moment is the trip to Israel this summer. Yea, yea, I know everyone is probably sick of hearing me talk about Israel. But hear me out. As you may know, I don’t have the money to go on this trip. And my parents don’t really have the money, either. I so desperately want to go on this trip. I want to walk and explore the land that my Savior lived and died for me in! I have prayed and prayed and begged for God to provide for this trip. And God is faithful. He has provided nearly $2,000 from two anonymous sources. Two people that don’t even know me are willing to pay for some of my trip! How crazy is that? And by the time that the Israel trip rolls around, I will have earned approximately $800 dollars. But that still leaves me with about $1,000 to somehow raise for the trip. Today, I thought my fight was over for this trip. I thought that I was going to be forced to give up and just not go to Israel. I mean, where in the world am I going to find another thousand dollars?
But something inside of me refuses to let this be the end. I mean, it’s completely one hundred percent possible that it is just not meant for me to go on this trip. But I have a really hard time believing that God would provide this much to just let me down so close to the goal. I have been praying for God to basically perform a miracle and to just provide the money in a huge, crazy, ridiculous way. And I know that He can do it. He’s God, for crying out loud. He can do anything! I just want Him to make a statement about Himself through my life. And yea, this is the perfect opportunity for Him to do that. Maybe it could even help other people, as well as myself, to learn to have patience and to have faith that God will provide – even if it doesn’t make sense the way He’s doing it. But then again, God doesn’t ever really make sense. If He were predictable, He wouldn’t be nearly as enticing or effective as my God and Savior.
So yea, I guess I just wanted to get this out there for someone, anyone, to read. Maybe it will make a difference somewhere, somehow, for someone.
Dear Lord,
I know that You know what’s best for me. And I know that You know whether I should or shouldn’t go on this trip to Israel this summer. But I also know that I have a strong desire to learn more about You and to walk where You walked. I believe that my travels in Israel and my stories from there can and will make a difference in somebody’s life. And maybe You can bring new people to Your Kingdom through me. God, please just go big or go home. Make a statement about Yourself in my life. Maybe if the money comes together for this trip, a few people, especially my family, will stop doubting what You can do. Maybe even I will stop doubting what You can do. God, we have made You too small, and we have put You in a box. Or at least I have. Shatter everything we think we know about You, and show us who You really are.
God, I ask all these things in Your precious Son’s Holy name.
Amen.
